How to Have this Conversation with your Loved One

There comes a time in every child’s life when you are no longer your parent’s “kid.” Instead, you find yourself having switched roles and becoming the one who needs to take care of your own parents. This is a completely natural part of our life cycle but can often be confusing and worrisome. After all, Mom and Dad are no long available to consult with and provide the re-assurance that you are doing the right thing.

Regardless of your religion, gender, or culture, there is no easy way to convince Mom or Dad that they can benefit from home care as most of us want to stay independent for as long as possible. But the reality is that when your elderly parent needs home care, this conversation simply must take place – not only for your parent’s health and safety but also for your own reassurance and peace of mind. Depending on your parent’s personality and circumstances, this conversation may take different forms. Here are a few examples of situations that commonly arise and some helpful tips of how to help move the conversation in the right direction.


Your elderly parent has a desire for to remain independent and remain at home.

If this is your elderly parent’s mentality, then consider yourself lucky! In fact, this is the easiest and most successful conversation to have with your parent! Home Care is designed to promote independence. With the help of a caregiver, your elderly parent can remain at home indefinitely and continue their lifestyle they are used to and love. The caregiver can help with tasks that your parent no longer has the strength or ability to do and would thus reduce the risk that a medical emergency may occur.

Your elderly parent has a desire to still be “the parent.”

If your mom or dad still thinks they are in control, want to manage you for what to do, and be in charge of communicating with doctors and the insurance company then by all means, let them! Although upon first glance these elderly parents may seem to be the worst to work with, if handled correctly they can be the most compliant and helpful when it comes to accepting home care. Ask them and encourage them to be involved in the decisions about their homecare. They are usually aware that they need help and if given the authority and independence to select what company and caregiver they want providing their elderly care, they become more amenable to the idea.

Your elderly parent has a desire to be left alone.

This is the most difficult scenario to approach when dealing with elderly parents. If your parents are refusing to allow a caregiver to come into their home or are in denial that they need home care services, then this may be a difficult conversation. When dealing with elderly parents in this scenario, sometimes the best thing to do is enlist help. Sometimes the elderly are more likely to listen to a doctor and follow their advice. More often than not, the medical community is there to help and support you when encouraging your elderly parents to accept the care that they need.
There are many more scenarios and personalities that are out there and may come up when considering home care. At Alvita Care, we are always happy to sit down with you and your family during the free, in-home assessment and make suggestions for the best strategies. In our experience, regardless of your elderly parent’s temperament, the underlying key is finding a caregiver that clicks with your parents and matches their personality. If you can find that right caregiver, convincing your elderly parents that they need care isn’t a challenge at all. In fact, it’s been our experience that once that “match” is made and a bond is established, accepting home care becomes a much more manageable process.

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About AlvitaCare

Alvita Home Care is a premier provider of senior in-home care services designed to enhance well-being, independence, and dignity. Our clinical team works diligently to provide customized care plans to deliver outstanding care for our patients with Alzheimer’s, dementia and memory care, personal care, private duty nursing, hospice and palliative care, and companionship. Our experienced staff includes registered nurses, license practice nurses, licensed home health aides, and companions that can deliver senior care in the home or facilities. Alvita Care has earned the Gold Seal of Approval from Joint Commission at all locations with offices in New York City, Westchester, Long Island, and northern New Jersey.